Unrelated Thoughts

Poems that are not in The End of the Word as We Know It, by Wes Unruh

Category Archives: Adoptee

Illegal International Adoption Case

This is a fascinating case..

After nearly five years of searching, posting fliers, being turned away at orphanages and even staging a hunger strike, Rodriguez now holds what’s believed to be an unprecedented Guatemalan court order declaring the child stolen and ordering the U.S. couple who eventually adopted her to give her back.
If U.S. authorities intervene to return the child, now 6, as the Guatemalan court has asked, it would be a first for any international adoption case, experts say.



should there be some hindsight, perhaps?

After all is said and done, I must admit that–as much as I’m loathe to admit it–Facebook has its perks

walled garden as it may have been once, it’s still entirely too invasive for my liking, and I don’t think my uneasiness with that aspect will ever subside

HOWEVER, that said, I have found it a remarkably useful tool for connecting to a side of my family I never really anticipated contacting…  faithful readers of this rss feed likely know already that I’m an adoptee, that I’ve been hypersensitive to adoption issues that arise in my life personally, and in culture at large.

So, to contextualize this somewhat, I’ve been in contact with my biological mother through Facebook.  As a result, my wife insists I stop complaining about Facebook and accept it as another platform for communication, one with more depth and reach than most other online social spaces… whatever.  I’m ornery enough to stick to my biases even when I know I’m wrong.

hell I still think this whole internet thing is a fad…

likeable rogue returns to his hometown and seeks out birthfather…

it sounds like a comic fable, to say the least.  I imagine I’ll approach this search the way I do everything, with a certain measure of sloppiness and indecisiveness, matched by an ongoing driving force, echoing the heartbeat of america chevy theme music.  It’s undeniable, the charm that comes with existing within your own bubble of meta-narrative, but it is also isolating.  My life is not (yet) a hollywood motion picture, and simply being adopted doesn’t necessarily create the need to undergo some hero’s journey.  It is social media’s presentation of that adoptee narrative which hijacks normal development and creates the cuckoo self


I am not ‘the bad seed’ – it was only a movie.  sadly, nor am I a jedi, or Moses.  However, it continues – adoptee narratives underly an unbelievable number of television shows lately (I can’t bring myself to watch it, but apparently Private Practice has something related to adoption in nearly every epsiode now)  and I’ve already ranted about the re-occurence of adoptees in horror films (Mirrors is another one)  AND IT DOESN’T MAKE THE STORY ANY BETTER EITHER.  Mirrors was insipid, The Ring only moderately more engaging, and The Abandoned was possibly the most annoyingly manipulative of them all.  Horror classics, like The Thing or Night of the Living Dead never stopped to pry into the family bonds (or lack thereof) of the zombies or alien virii, and were the better for it.  I challenge any budding screenwriter out there convinced they’ve nailed to most plausible source of an angry ghost to a dead adoptee to do some reading on the effects of adoption on emotional development…

On the other hand, being adopted is like being a gypsie, or a carney – there’s a certain amount of immediate uncertainty brought into any social situation when the topic comes up, and landmines and occult powers fill the emotional language-scape across which the dialogue subsequently trods. 

to be continued…

lightning calls to blood

Thunderbird and Heyoka seems to keep coming up in my own experience since the time I was a kid and the airplane door popped open on me during a lightning storm (it was a small 5 seater bonanza if I remember rightly) I’ve always been crazy, but that was really the turning point for me, the wake-up.  I had to hold the door tight while we landed.  If I hadn’t been wearing my seatbelt I’d have likely fallen 10,000 feet – I still remember the electric smell of burnt ozone.  I’ve never liked flying since then, and even more to the point, I’m holding a carved thunderbird token as I hit send on this message… why zen werewolf?

in the news

Sculpting Identity from Activity

“We get what we promote”

– Seth Godin

In the last few days I’ve been thinking about how I ended up doing what I do… it started when I sat down at the computer in 98, determined to see if I could find anything out about my birth.

As time progressed, I learned how to search, I studied everything I could get my hands on about the politics of adoption circa 1960-1980, and started wondering if I would be able to scrape together the cash for a DNA test.

Sometime in 1999, I discovered +Fravia and learned how powerful search engines were, and how massive the net truly was…

Sometime in 2000, I’d learned how to navigate all of the primary social networks devoted to the topics in which I was most interested. Over the next three years I tried a number of different approaches, online and offline, to find and dig up information on where I’d come from, as well as utilized search engines and html gimmickery to attempt cultural hacking – using the medium of the search engine as my media – playing with keyword density in what looked to others as poetry – or perhaps I developed poetry with the underlying intention of writing for placement, rather than readers.

In seeking my own biological center, I was also experimenting with constructing an identity online – the interplay of individual identity and interpellation from dubious documents from my private adoption, along with the natural residual effect of cultural attitudes surrounding adoptees engaged in search, and you can see how emotional needs drove my relentless need to know, to find out, and to figure out how to use the tools at my disposal.

In 2004, everything changed. I found out who my birth mother actually was, thanks to the networking online I’d been doing for six years. My focus shifted from searching, to processing, trying to externalize the noise that welled up inside me after years of conflicting cognitive states, emotions, and changes that had arisen from so much focus on puzzling out my own historicity. I’m not finished, I have more even now I am seeking to discover, but just finding out half of the narrative was enough to trigger the period of intensely creative outgrowth that generated the Unquiet Mind projects and Philip K Nixon.

That’s how I learned to use search engines. Over the last few years I’ve become more studious in the effective and profitable ways to do online social optimization through search engine marketing, list-building, and social media distribution. The reality though is that I still prefer to apply my knowledge to issues surrounding searchers, individuals using social media to promote themselves, artists and musicians and writers – the creative social network offline and on that I have come to cherish from the years I’ve been a part of the online community.

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what about the birth father?

here’s the situation,

The birth mother, realizing she’s pregnant, leaves her boyfriend
(the birth father) without telling him she’s pregnant

Two days before she gives birth, she contacts him out of the blue
and informs him she’s about to have a child and will be giving the
child up for adoption, then hangs up on him

You can assume she’s lied and told the adoption agency that she
doesn’t know where the father is or who the father might be,
and is unwilling to help them find him, and the only reason she
contacted him was in some sense because she’d felt guilty
about going behind his back.

At what point are his parental rights terminated?

If he could figure out where this adoption was being
finalized, could he stop the process?

Let’s say this happens in Kansas, where there is no putative
father registry – what can he do?

(This is all purely hypothetical, I’m trying to illustrate the gap between
what adoption.com presents as adoption and the circumstances that
lead to adoption in the real world.)

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